Waking up at 3am

Why You Keep Waking Up at 3am (and what your body might be trying to say)

It's 3:07am.

Again.

You're lying there staring at the ceiling. Your mind is racing. Your partner is snoring like a happy little hippo. And you're thinking, why does this keep happening?

You blame your hormones. The glass of wine. The dog moving. The kids. The stress.

But what if your body is waking you up on purpose?

What if the exact time you wake up is a message?

Stay with me, love. Because once you know this, you may not look at the clock the same way again.

Your Body Has a Secret Night Clock

In TCM, your body runs on a clock. A different organ takes its turn to do its deepest work.

And every organ holds something.

So when you keep waking at the same time, night after night, it's often not random. It's a little knock on the door. A part of you saying, hey… I've got something for you.

The night shift looks like this:

• 1am to 3am is Liver time

• 3am to 5am is Lung time

That 3am wake up? It sits right on the doorway between Liver and Lungs. Between anger and grief.

Let's walk through each one.

1am to 3am: The Liver (The Anger You Didn’t Express)

Ooh, this is a big one.

The liver is your body's little cleaner. At night, it clears out the old stuff from your blood. It clears out old feelings too. Especially anger. Frustration. Resentment.

So many of us were raised to be the good girl. Don't make a fuss. Don't be dramatic. Smile and say it's all ok.

So we swallowed it down, never expressed, never used the words we wanted to.

In my treatment room, I hear it all the time. “But I don’t feel angry about anything”. Yes perhaps because the anger was suppressed decades ago and you forgot (but your body didn’t).

3am to 5am: The Lungs (The Grief That Never Got to Move)

The lungs hold grief. Sadness. Letting go. And Fall is lung season too.

So right now, as the leaves fall, a lot of us are waking up in this window. Sometimes with emotions we can't explain. Sometimes just with this heavy, achy something.

Maybe it's a loss you "got over" too fast. A relationship. A version of you that you had to leave behind. Or grief that isn't even yours. Grief your mom carried or someone else in your family.

But Why Does It All Come Out at Night?

During the day, you're busy. You're holding it together. Running the business, the house, the kids, everything.

Your nervous system is on autopilot.

But at night it’s a different story.

And all the things you didn't have time to feel… they finally get their chance to make a grand entrance.

Many of us were taught, deep down, that showing feelings isn’t safe. We learned it from watching our mom hold it all in. They learned it from theirs. So our bodies found a clever workaround. Feel it when no one's watching.

Even if that's 3am.

But Isn't It Just Perimenopause Helena?

Oh, I hear this one ALL the time. And honestly? It might be both.

When we hit our 40s (or even 30s), everything starts to shift. Hormones go up and down like like a rollercoaster ride. Sleep gets lighter. Anxiety hits.

But here's what I've noticed after 18 years healing women.

Perimenopause is a doorway. A big one.

For years, a lot of us have been running on autopilot. Caring for everyone. Pushing through. Keeping the lid on everything.

Then our bodies start to change, and that lid gets loose.

All the stuff we packed away in our 20s and 30s? It starts to rise up… all those emotions… the "I never got to be me" or “I never felt safe showing emotions or saying what I wanted to say”

So yes, your hormones might be waking you up. But what's waiting for you when you wake up? That's the bit worth listening to.

What to Do Next Time You Wake Up

Pay attention to the emotions that could be coming up… grief, rejection, confusion, anger, defensiveness about something. I do this myself and often it IS because there is something bothering me, or something I am grieving or angry about. So next time try this…

1. Check the time and get curious, not anxious. Instead of "Ugh, not again!" try “ok, body, I am listening, what are you showing me?"

2. Put your hand where you feel it coming up. Rest your hand where you feel the emotion is laying dormant… heart, stomach, throat.. where is it.

3. Ask one simple question. "What am I holding that I don't need to hold anymore?"

4. Let it go. Say to yourself “this is grief or this is anger and right now I am safe to let this go” Repeat it 3 times and take a deep breath and imagine that emotion leaving the body.

The biggest take away from this, is this..

Those night wake ups aren't a sign that something's wrong with you it’s simply a sign that something inside you is ready to be heard or an emotion is lurking you need to pay attention to.

So tonight, if you wake up at 3am…Maybe it's an invitation to explore a little more to the emotions that have been stuffed down for so long.

And if it this doesn’t work for you, perhaps its time to book a session where we can delve deeper into the areas where you are feeling it so you can finally give yourself permission to let it go with something facilitating and guiding you through it.

That’s what I do in my sessions.

With love, Helena xx

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Gelous Spa is a holistic + somatic healing spa based in Glenbrook SW Calgary. Check it out at gelousspa.ca

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